fortzancudo:

GOD today i served a family of 3 and the dad was like “i’ll have a cappuccino” and the kid, a girl of about 11, was like “PLEASE.” and he was like “uh yeah. please” and the kid goes “well you’re always telling me to remember my manners!!! you should too!!” and i was cracking up

and then she was standing there w her mum while i made their drinks and i asked if the mum wanted chocolate sprinkles and she was like “yes please” and the kid goes “well at least SOMEONE remembered their manners” and then sighed dramatically and HEELYED AWAY and honestly? not sure how to go on knowing i’ll never be as cool as this 11 year old

(via reactingcaptain)

aceofsquiddles:

1% the size of the wood where Winnie the Pooh lives, next question

(Source: officialunitedstates, via bonesbuckleup)

piratescarfy:

there was a disastrous performance of Macbeth at the Old Vic by Peter O’Toole and apparently there was this one part in the play one night where a Servant comes in and should say “Your wife, my lord, is dead” but what ACTUALLY happened was

Servant: …My wife, my lord, is dead.

Macbeth: Well, what about my wife?

Servant: Oh yeah. She’s dead too.

Macbeth: 

Servant: There’s a lot of it about.

(via strawned)

tselmc:

(via theproblemwithstardust)

wrathofthestag:

You know what’s wild? Remembering that children hear things for the first time without context and are literally like, “What?”

I just said “See you later, alligator” to a four-year-old and I think it was the first time they had ever heard that.  They froze in their tracks, looked at me completely bewildered then replied, “See you later, chicken” and kept walking.

(via x-lazart-x)